


Lost Soul

by IcyPheonix



Series: Aftermath [2]
Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Unrequited Love, but shun loves yuto, it's a mess, yuto loves yuya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-25
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-26 19:46:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9919358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IcyPheonix/pseuds/IcyPheonix
Summary: The war is over and the dimensions are saved, but victory has come with a cost, one that none of the Lancers expected to pay.The life of one of their own.No one was prepared for that.----Yuto was prepared for the silence that would come with getting his body back, with being split from Yuya. What he wasn't prepared for, was that he'd never hear him again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It's Yuto's turn for angst.   
> Set, maybe a few hours after the first part.
> 
> Its not nearly as long as I'd hoped, or as good. But I gotta get it out so I can move on to the next parts.

Yuto was prepared for the fact that he wasn’t going to be able to hear Yuya’s voice in his head, or to feel his presence. It was just a fact of getting his body back and being the only one in it.

He just hadn’t expected that it would mean he would never see or hear him again, that he hadn’t prepared for.

He bowed his head as silent tears rolled down his cheeks, jaw clenched tightly, it wasn’t fair that he should still be alive and Yuya not.

“Yuto!” Shun’s voice bellowed out behind him and his head shot up at the sound of his name. “What are you doing up here?”

‘Up here’ was the hospital rooftop, where Yuto had gone to be alone some hours ago.

Yuto turned his head to look at Shun, his arms hanging over the railing. With a sigh he looked back out over Maiami Bay, and the sun setting over the water.

“Don’t scare me like that Yuto,” said Shun, voice drawing closer until Yuto felt a pair of arms wrap around him, pulling him into Shun’s chest. “When Ruri said you went to the roof, I got worried.”

“Shun…” Yuto raised a hand slowly, placing it on Shun’s. “Sorry. I needed to think.” He turned his head slightly, “Shouldn’t you be resting?” When he’d left, Shun had been taken aside for a physical evaluation, something he hadn’t had done in a while.

“I’m fine. What about you?”

Yuto sighed and leaned against him, hands shaking as he held onto Shun. “It hurts Shun, it hurts so much.” He pressed Shun’s hand to his chest, trembling as he leaned against him to keep from collapsing.

Ever since Yuya had drawn his last breath he’d felt this, emptiness inside of him, like someone had ripped something out of him. He’d never felt a pain like that before, not even for those they’d lost during the invasion, and he didn’t like it.

“I loved him, Shun.” His voice cracked as the words tumbled out, tears blurring his vision, “I loved him.”

Shun was quiet for a moment, looking down at Yuto as he tried to process what he’d just said. Yuto was in love, had been in love with, Yuya.

“I loved him, and I killed him. People keep apologizing to me, telling me they’re sorry. But I don’t deserve any of that, because I killed him.”

“Yuto that’s not true.”

“But it is!” He pulled himself from Shun’s arms as he turned to face him, backing into the railing. “It is Shun. Yuya died, because he was protecting me!” The tears that he’d managed to stem the flow of earlier came back at full force as he pressed his face into his hand. “He was protecting me from Zarc. I couldn’t fight him off, I wasn’t strong enough, and he would have destroyed me. But Yuya, he stepped in, he took it all on himself so I wouldn’t have to. And it killed him.” He clenched his hands, dragging his fingers through his hair. “That should have been me, I should have died not him.”

“Yuto don’t talk like that!” yelled Shun, dropping to his knees in front of him and grabbing his hands. “No one should have had to die, not Yuya, not you, no one.”

“If I had died in his place there wouldn’t be this much pain, I wouldn’t be missed like this.”

“Don’t you dare, don’t you dare talk like that Yuto.” Shun tightened his grip on Yuto’s hands. “I already lost you once, I couldn’t bare it if I lost you again. And do you think Ruri would be ok with you being gone? Or Yuya, do you think he could live with himself if you died because of him?” His voice tightened in his throat as he spoke, hands shaking as he held Yuto. “We shouldn’t have had to lose anyone, not Yuya and not you.”

Yuto looked away, trembling as tears rolled down his cheeks. “I just want him back, I just want the chance to tell him-to tell him that I love him. I just want him to know.”

Shun released Yuto’s hands and pulled him into his arms and against his chest.

Yuto sobbed into Shun, fingers gripping his shirt as he held himself there.

“I just want the pain to go away,” he said after a moment.

“We all do Yuto, we all do.”

Yuto tilted his head, looking up at Shun as tears stung the corners of his eyes. “Shun, Shun could you drive the pain away for me? Please, make the pain go away.”

He opened his mouth to ask what Yuto meant, but was stopped when something warm pressed itself to his lips. His brain took a moment to catch up to what was happening and he stiffened, lips; it was lips on his, Yuto’s lips. Yuto was kissing him! Under any other circumstance he might have welcomed this, but here and now? He stumbled forward when Yuto pulled him close, grabbing the railing behind Yuto to steady himself.

“Yuto no.” He pulled back harshly, grabbing Yuto by the shoulders to hold him at an arms length. “Don’t do this. This isn’t going to help.”

“Shun…”

“No, not like this.” His hands trembled as he held Yuto, who looked away from him, tears stinging his eyes. “Yuto, god knows that I love you, and god knows I would give anything to drown out your pain. But this, I can’t drown out your pain the way you want me to.” He shook his head, “All we’ll end up doing is hurting each other.”

Yuto shuddered, still holding his shirt tightly.

“Oh Yuto.” Shun released Yuto’s shoulders, pulling him tightly to his chest. “I can be the shoulder to cry on, but I can’t be more.”

How long they remained like that, Yuto wasn’t sure, but he buried his face into Shun’s chest as he wept, weeping till he couldn’t cry any more tears.

“Do you think he knew Shun?” he asked, his sobs dying into weak sniffs, his shoulders shaking with each breath. “Do you think he knew how I felt about him?”

Shun smiled at him, wiping tears from his cheek. “I’m sure he did Yuto.”

Yuto raised an arm to dry his face, stifling his sobs as he fought to regain any semblance of composure. “His parents, they still don’t know what happened, they don’t know how he, died,” he said. “They deserve to know but, I’m scared Shun.”

“Scared?”

Yuto nodded, “Of telling them. What if they hate me? I want them to know the truth but I’m worried about how they’ll react. Would you, come with me when I got to tell them? I don’t know if I could do it alone.”

“Of course I will Yuto.”

“And uh, could we, maybe, forget about what I did earlier?” he asked, cheeks reddening as he looked away from Shun. “I was-I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“O-oh yeah, consider it forgotten,” replied Shun quickly, his own cheeks flushing red.

“Thanks.”

Shun eventually headed back in, leaving Yuto alone with his thoughts, at Yuto’s request.

Yuto sighed as he sat down, vision blurring with tears once more as he drew his knees to his chest.


End file.
